Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Eminem is like Cigarettes

I was having a deep intellectual conversation this evening with my sister as we were on our way to the auto parts store to pick up some oil and an air filter for my dad. For some reason the passenger of my car no matter who it is always takes hostage of my iPod. I guess it's the same as you shouldn't text while driving, well, you shouldn't wheel spin your iPod while driving either.

So my sister has my iPod and she's running through 10 second snippets of my extensive catalog. Heartless Bastards would come on, she'd let it play for a minute then on to Metric for a brief 30 seconds, then a click to Apex Twin, 10 seconds of that she's on to Edward Sharpe and the Magical Zeros. The girl has MADD, no not Mother's Against Drunk Driving, Musical Attention Deficient Disorder. It's a real crime to the chorus.

She finally says, "Oh let's go gangsta". Suddenly my car's bass is thumping to Lil Wayne/Eminem's "No Love". She turns it up and starts throwing gangster symbols to the cows we pass going down the highway. She obviously had a beef with them.

She starts talking over the loud music and lyrics of "lick those pussys before I eat them".

I raise an eyebrow. I should have maybe purchased the clean version with only five words rapped in the entire song...

"You feel cool when you listen to Eminem," she says.

I come back quickly with my whit and say, "Yea, like how kids think they're cool when they smoke cigarettes, except Eminem is less hazardous."

So I think I will leave it with this, "You're cooler if you listen to Eminem than smoking cigarettes, plus you won't die of cancer."

I need to send this to Eminem's marketing group.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

The Elderly and Their Buicks

If teenagers are too young to drive, when is it going to be that you are too old to drive?
We get stuck behind them occasionally, the 80+ year old driver who can't even tie his/her own shoes anymore sitting behind the wheel of a huge tank of a car driving 25 in a 45. When they turn, they go around the corner doing 1 mph with no turn signal and nearly take out the street sign.
I was behind an elderly gentleman one day on the highway, I was doing 75 (in a 65, oops) when I came up on this guy doing at least 35mph. He was swaying back and forth, basically driving right down the middle of both lanes. I tried to pass him, but I was afraid he'd slide over and take out the side of my car. When I finally got around he appeared to be 110, his little old lady sitting next to him with her huge black granny wrap around glasses, and in the back seat were two small grandchildren. I honestly was afraid the children were in danger.
There are some cases were an elderly person may be a good driver, but this is very rare. My great uncle Johnny was 91 and in my opinion a good driver. My grandpa on the other hand at 82 sucks when it comes to driving. He's been in a few fender benders cause his reflexes aren't too great.
I was reading an article on USA Today about a 90 year old woman who's neighbor witnessed her fly out of her driveway and cross into his yard taking out a bush. Then proceeded down the road only to end up wrecking into a young driver on her way to school. The 16 year old died a few days later. We often see in the news that elderly drivers cause accidents, some fatal. There was a wreck that shut down the highway by where I live caused by an 80 year old man who fell asleep behind the wheel at 2pm in the afternoon. He died and so do the victims in the truck he hit head on.
Maybe it shouldn't be "at this age" is the cut off date, but after a certain age you have to take drivers tests again like a 16 year old does. If  you fail the eyesight examination at the DMV, SORRY you can't drive anymore. I want the people driving around me to be able to see me. My own grandpa whom I love dearly can't turn his neck to see when he turns out of a parking space or getting onto the highway from an entrance ramp, so my Nana  is his "eyes" and she's never driven! It scares me to death!
Elderly people are a great asset to us young people, shouldn't we do our best to protect them from dangerous situations that they may not be aware of?

Here's a good checklist I found online that I'm going to give to my mom for her to look over for my grandpa.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Concerning Twilight

I'm not one for fads, especially teen fads being that I've graduated past my geeky horror-mone crazed days. When my sister was "bitten" by the Twilight fad I put my hand to head and just shook it with disappointment. She was always toting around her black covered books, dreaming of sparkly pail boys who don't age. It was disturbing, especially when her friends would come over and go on and on about the book.

I had my reservations about Twilight.

A) I'm not big on fiction. I'm a non-fiction footnotes included type of reader. I just read "The Lost King: How DNA Solved the Mystery of Louis Charles" It's excellent. Now I'm reading Lady Antonia Fraser's "The Wives of Henry VIII"

B) An author who doesn't know how to spell Stephanie is apparently not someone I can put up with. StephENIE? Seriously? I pronounce my name SteFaNnie. Emphasis on the "annie". StephEnie sounds like you have an belly button issue.

C) Vampires? Trendy? Is this what we're down to?

D) Robert Patterson is not drop dead gorgeous. Cute, yes. But no George Clooney.

E) I can't be into something that 13 year olds obsess about. There's a thing called generation gap for a reason.

My sister has been pleading with me to at least try to read one chapter of the book to form an opinion. Fair enough. She did tell me to avoid the movie, there is hope I suppose that she did share the same womb as me.

I decided I'd read a bit of the book to make some valid opinions instead of secretly wondering if this book was decent for my worthwhile. I do give kudos when kudos is due. Anything that gets kids reading is alright by me.


I can't for the life of me put it down. I'm on Eclipse! I finished Twilight in three days, New Moon in a week. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME??!!!

*checks pulse and neck for life*

Stephenie (should be Anie) Meyer has a way with words. Oddly I can't get past the oddness of the book, but I'm on hiatus from higher learning and allowing my brain to go all mushy before I start my Masters. I guess it's okay to not think too critical sometimes. The way the story develops with Bella's "automatic" knowing that Edward must be a vampire is a bit far fetched. The mind reading...eh, ok. All the boys swooning over her, come on. It's good to pass the time and be entertained. I'll leave it at that. The weird relationship between her and Jacob, I'm sorry, but I would have stopped talking to the guy after New Moon, he's psycho. Edward sets a bad example for young girls thinking that all men are like that. My boyfriend is FAR from that protective/romantic.

Plus, the odd similarities to the language and expression given by Edward is very strikingly similar to an ex-boyfriend I had, and now I'm questioning if vampires really do exist...

He did suck the emotional life out of me for six months. Same as blood right?

Forgive me my literate friends who appreciate fine works of literature, for I have sinned.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Winter Olympic Hype In America

I like watching the Winter Olympics. I think it's the Norwegian in me and the sole fact that snow skiing is the ONLY sport I can do decently well at. I love to watch the figure skating, the bobsled races, cross country skiing, the downhill, and my secret love for curling.

I sometimes though wish the media would stay out of the Olympians faces. Sure, the olympians want media coverage, it's how they get their Visa and Wheaties sponsorships to pay the $100,000 a year fees/costs to do their sport each year. It's their income basically.

Look at the Torino games that happened four years ago. All we could hear about was Bode Miller every time you turned on the TV to watch the games. Bode Miller this Bode Miller that. Journalists wanted to cover everything about this guy from his home, to his mother, to his arrogant douchebag attitude that made him the golden boy of sports.

And when Bode Miller didn't give us gold we cast him to the garbage (where all douchebags belong). Pun intended.

You sir are not Spiderman.

And notice this year Bode Miller is not the golden boy. I only saw one clip of him talking about his "changes". Yea buddy, a little too late.

So, this year I was hoping that the media would try to back off immortalizing the greatness of certain individuals. Eh, who are we kidding? It's American broadcasting. Of course they're going to feature certain athletes like Apolo Ono, Shawn White, and Lindsey Jacobellis. The last two athletes I mentioned are snowboarders. A sport created for the Olympics apparently to boost Team USA's medal count. No wonder foreign countries are never really thrilled with us during the games.

So of course the media is going to cradle these athletes giving them air time to show off their ritzy homes and talk about their days of training. I was actually reading an article were it talked about American olympians do not have high school diplomas and some are at the junior high level of education. One athlete only attended 1/6th of classes in his school year. If a normal kid only went 1/6th of the school year they would have to repeat that grade and their parents would be investigated by social services. What gives? Sure, some athletes kids still, and I think that is crap. No 15 year old should be an Olympian competing against someone who's 32 from Italy. That's almost unfair if you ask me.

This just goes to prove my theory that Americans care more about their sports than their education.

Getting back to this hype though. Look at Lindsey Jacobellis, the snowboarder. She's been in commercials on TV, media segments, interviews galore and what happens? She runs off the course and doesn't win a medal.

I think the pressure on theses athletes for winning is absurd. Sure, if I was an olympian I'd want a medal, but these athletes are having to perform for TV ratings, approval of sponsors, the praise from Bob Costas, and the acceptance from the American people that they are "great" athletes.

I applaud the Australian mogulist, Dale Begg Smith, who makes his own money and doesn't have sponsors. He avoids media and just does his sport. That's the way it should be. But the media frowns upon him because he's "not marketable" basically.

I think a lot of Olympians are just sellouts honestly. And it takes away from the athletes that are really good and struggle in their home countries. Just like the Georgian luger who died, he had a hard life but made it to the Olympics to compete. He would never gotten any attention except for his death and it's sad that we don't hear about the voiceless talent.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Lady Gaga is that you?

A few weeks ago I was down at the Crossroads District in Kansas City for the annual First Fridays Art Gallery shows. I go whenever I can. I like looking at art made by the locals. There's always interesting characters down there, mostly hippies, but hey, I date one who hangs out with lots of them, so I guess that makes me semi-hippie (I bathe and at one time was republican.)

Anyway, I was in one gallery walking around looking at some paper meche art covered in staples (seriously, it was pretty cool) and then I looked over to see a blond haired girl. My first thought was, "HOLY CRAP, Lady Gaga? In Kansas City? In this very gallery? Nooooo way!"

What made me think this was the interesting (crazy in a way) outfits that Lady Gaga (a singer) wears out in public and on stage.

Then I realized, no. It was not Lady Gaga. It was Lady Gaga inspired fashion IN PUBLIC. Something I did not fathom I would ever see in public here in KC.

The picture is a little blurry, because honestly, do you think I'd be rude enough to use a flash? Sneaky photography is my thing when doing covert operations for Xanga posts. The outfit up close as I walked past her (well, I kinda followed her) was handmade. Of course, anything like this would have to be handmade. The Gap nor Old Navy does not sell odd leotard outfits.

I give the girl huge kudos. I don't think I could be brave enough to wear something this different. Celebrities can get away with wearing pretty much anything. Normal people, eh not so much. The girl did a great job on the outfit but I think I would have paired it with heels instead of flats...but then again, there's lots of walking to be done at First Fridays, so function before fashion sometimes must be sacrificed.

Oh the interesting things we see!

Ladies (or guys...) do you think you could pull off the Lady Gaga leotard outfit?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

I'm Turning into A Germophobe

I have a friend who fears bacteria. I would constantly raise my eyebrow at some of the odd things she'd do. It was definitely a case of OCD on her part for how much she would freak out over germs. She carries enough hand sanitizer in her purse to kill a horse if he would drink it. She'll wipe down her steering wheel of her car before driving because she's afraid of transporting germs. Another problem she has is garage sales and thrift stores because it's "other people" germs. I personally like cheap things myself plus it's called a washing machine.

Ever since I started working at the high school I've paid a little more attention to staying healthy by washing my hands more often, cleaning the kiddos desks during passing period with disinfectant wipes, washing down door handles in the house, plus religiously taking my vitamin C vitamin.

Pig flu + Me = bacon in hot grease.

in other words, I refuse to get sick from germs.

Sure, there's the airborne threat, but I think most illnesses comes from sharing things like drinks, chapstick, etc. Of course there is just the touching things other people have touched problem. I found myself spritzing a little hand sanitizer in my hands as I left the mall last weekend. My hands just felt dirty after touching doors, escalader railings, and the occasional hanger. Who knows what someone had touched and what they may have had.

It's like the whole if you've had sex with someone who's had sex with 3 other people, then you've basically slept with 7 people in one booty call. It's the orgy you never thought you'd have. Here's the chart that made me glad I'm on the 1 to 1 ratio, gotta love waiting till the right one. :) >> http://www.wrmcsn.com/images/chart.gif

I'm around a classroom of 30 sneezy, snotty, germy teenagers for about an hour and a half. I see about 130 kids in my class a day. Take that number by how many kids just one kid comes in contact a day with. That 130 kids a day is connected to over 1,000+ germy, sneezy, snotty people. I don't really want to know the ratio of actual contact that is brought into my classroom in just one day. Hence why I'm not a little bit paranoid over the germs.

Let's just say, Lysol is my best friend and please for the love of limp greasy bacon, cover your mouth when you sneeze. Or else Cathleen Syblius (the secretary of the health dept) will chew you out and tell you about Elmo's ability to not spread germs during a press junket with a bunch of adults. Don't be that poor dude.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

A New Social Network Worth Following

Move over Myspace, Facebook, and Twitter.

I was listening to the radio last night on my drive home when the DJ was talking about a new social networking site. I was intrigued, because I only need another internet fad to get sucked into. This social networking site is different, very different. I think it's actually a really cool idea from the sounds of it too. It's not some silly high school "I have more friends than you, I update pointless crap on my status because I have no life, I'm more popular, Ur hott, let's she-bang, My tweets are sweeter than beets, looking for love one-night-stand online, or look at my crazy drunken beer bong stripper pictures (I don't have any for the record)."

No, this sounds like the social network utopia on the internets.

This new social networking site will launch in about 26 days according to the website.


My friends, www.friendagorilla.org (not .com, see it's already better)

In 26 days, when the site launches you will be able to "befriend" a gorilla in the Ugandan Mountains and "follow" your new gorilla friend with GPS and video updates. The site is going to be very similar to Twitter/Facebook where you can keep up with the gorilla of your choice. You'll get updates about their life such as travel patterns, births, and other "gorilla" activities.

You will have to pay a $1 sign up fee to join, but if you think about it, this is a great way to help support and save gorillas in the wild. There are over 200 million people on Facebook, think of all the bananas that friendagorilla.org will be able to provide!

I think it would be a great way for younger kids in elementary schools to "adopt" a gorilla as a class "pet". Maybe even a family "pet" option for families who can't have a real pet due to allergies/living situations.

I might join the site just for shits and giggles, what about you?