Thursday, July 23, 2009

Every Kid Needs A Hobby

I screwed up in life. Lemonade stand? Oh Steph, seriously, how lame!

I could have made more profit as a kid to go towards Pogs, Barbies, and Hot Wheels. Maybe I could have done better in science if I had the right skills and training starting at a young age. I might have had a little more appreciation for the hard earned dollar if I had made a product that was in high demand and respected on the streets.

Lemonade for 25 cents is not profitable. I thought below the line, I thought like a good little blonde girl. I should have known better when the police would patrol my neighborhood and stop to buy lemonade from me. Although, it really would have been a good cover up.

Maybe if I hadn't spent time as a kid being unproductive, I could have been making meth.

Now that seriously is a pretty good idea. I mean, it not only teaches kids the art of science, but drug dealing is a science in itself. Kids learn the aspects of economics with supply and demand. There's a big demand, small supply. Therefore kids can have 22in spinner chrome wheels on their Big Wheels or tricycles. Kids also learn that safety when using chemistry is important. Always wear googles and make sure you use the right measurements!

Kids also learn that physical fitness is important. They have to be able to run fast and take the punches in case something bad goes down on the deal. So boxing classes would have been more valueable than ballet.

I could have been a pint sized drug dealer, hitting the clubs at the age of 7. Rollin up in my pink Barbie Jeep. I could have ruled recess sitting on the swings while my classmates got high off of my product and Sharpies.

Why was I so...average?

Now we all know, I'm being hugely sarcastic here, so don't say I'm a horrible person for supporting meth. I don't. I just want to be a wise ass and make a joke.

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